


Differences

by Khir



Series: Challenges [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke pukes on Lexa lol, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3815515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khir/pseuds/Khir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternate ending to Challenges</p><p>Clarke is in the forest alone but Indra discovers some shocking information for Lexa that forces the pair to make a difficult decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Differences

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this ages ago, but never finished because I've been working on 'Consequences'. 
> 
> This story is especially for those who have been supporting this series from the start and who are always there to give me a lovely comment and constructive criticism. Thank you so very much.
> 
> If you haven't read Challenges you won't have a clue what's going on in this story but maybe you'll still enjoy it. If you hate babies, well this isn't for you.

 

 

Sitting quietly in her quarters, Lexa sighed and could only think of one thing. It nagged at her like an incessant infection that she ailed herself with. The way her stomach churned, her body heavy, the Commander did not know what to do next. It was no use, she thought she would be able to handle the pain and regret. Choosing the head over what the heart yearned was a difficult task.

 

Leaning back in the throne within her stronghold, Lexa gazed across at the door. She had contemplated storming out the room many times to search for the blonde in the forest. Sometimes she would manage to walk outside, but would quickly return. There was no urgency for her presence any longer because word had spread the Sky Girl took down the Mountain. She was alive. Clarke was alive.

 

Sometimes her hands would tremble as if the world beneath her was about to open up and swallow her whole. Maybe that’s what she deserved but the thought would instantly pass when thinking of her people. They needed her. They died for her. They lived for her. She had a responsibility to continue her duties and could not spend her days locked within the confines of her room.

 

Eyes watering, Lexa shook the feeling away. Taking a deep breath, she sat up in her throne and sucked in her lips. Calming herself, she was ready for the day’s events. There was much to be salvaged at Ton DC, bodies, artifacts and personal items. Each day, a party would go out to work slowly and carefully in the area. It was the right thing to do after the war.

 

Standing to her feet, Lexa held her head high and put on a straight face. Ready to step down, she was met by the door whirring open, sending a rush of air throughout the room. Ceasing her actions, the Commander inspected the woman hastily entering the room and could see the urgency in her face.

 

“Apologies, Heda,” Indra began, bowing and standing before her leader.

 

The look of concern on her general’s face was alarming and Lexa focused her attention intently. “Sha?”

 

Struggling to find the words, Indra gazed up at her Commander and was hesitant. “I have pressing information,” she slowly stated, seeing green eyes flicker.

 

Unsure of what could be alarming Indra to such an extent, Lexa stepped down before her and tried to remain calm. “Speak freely, Indra,” she gently said.

 

Relaxing her composure, Indra took a deep breath and nodded. “Scouts have seen Clarke of the Sky People, wandering in the woods for weeks now,” she informed, noticing the immediate reaction from her leader.

 

Aware of this already, Lexa furrowed her eyebrows and felt her mouth go dry. There was more. “Is she unharmed?” the Commander asked, searching Indra’s face.

 

“She is,” Indra quickly said, glancing over her shoulder to ensure no one was around. “I have told the scouts to stay quiet, or I will kill them…”

 

“Why would you do that?” Lexa asked incredulously, eyeing her comrade.

 

Not one to usually care, Indra paused for a moment and went over what she was going to reveal. “It seems as though,” she began to say. “Clarke is with child.”

 

Mouth opening and eyes revealing her soul, Lexa felt the air from her lungs leave her body as if trying to suffocate her from the inside out for all that she had done. Everything seemed so blurry within the room, taunting her and mocking her, mind flooding with anguish and worry. Dealing with the Mountain Men was one feat but this was completely different and unexpected.

 

“How can you be sure?” Lexa croaked out, trying to compose herself.

 

“Clarke is a healer,” Indra reminded. “She has begun to pack some belongings she has acquired as if she is going to return to the Ark. She knows.”

 

“And what choice does she have but to go back?” Lexa mused, thinking about how awful it must feel to be alone and discovering such a thing with no one to help.

 

Nodding, Indra stood waiting for orders. “What shall we do?” she asked, ready to aid in any way possible.

 

Gritting her teeth, Lexa was unsure. What would Clarke even tell her people if she went back to the Ark? Bellamy Blake flashed through her mind and the jealousy came. “I need to see her,” she sternly declared. “Immediately.”

 

Knowing exactly where the Sky Girl was located, Indra spun around and sped out the door with Lexa following. The woman thought of Octavia and Lincoln, how they chose the Sky People over Tri Kru and she knew at this moment, her Commander would have to make a similar decision. Her loyalties would always be to Lexa no matter what happened but she could not help but fear that some of their people would not take to this situation with happiness.

 

**********

 

Clarke wasn’t afraid of being alone. In fact she welcomed it, sitting at the drop ship, feeling nauseous. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this and she wished she didn’t have to return to the Ark. It may not have been easy, living alone in the forest, but it kept her busy and her mind off of the ominous decisions she had made weeks ago. Sometimes the sheer heartache from her choices, not just from the Mountain but from everything, were insurmountable. She would find herself glancing at her gun but then quickly looking away.

 

If there was anything Clarke wanted from all of this, it was to live, not just survive, but live.

 

She surveyed her belongings, items she had found here and there, a few drawings she managed to create and put them in a small sack she discovered at the drop ship. Standing up, she looked in the direction toward Camp Jaha and sighed. If she was lucky, she wouldn’t leave puke trails all over the place on the way back, but groaned when feeling her stomach churn once more.

 

There was rustling in the trees as she began to walk. She wasn’t stupid. She knew there were scouts keeping tabs on her the entire time. One had even killed a panther that was lurking in the area. But this time, the rustling was different as she gazed up into the sunny sky, beams of light transcending between branches and trees to fill her eyes with beauty.

 

“You’re only here, because you know, Lexa,” she spat, knowing who was above her. “Stay… away… from me.”

 

Knowing Clarke spoke the truth, Lexa descended gracefully from a branch and landed in front of the girl who was pale faced and squeamish. There was a child growing, the Commander could feel it in her bones. “You are correct,” she softy said, keeping a good distance. She longed to reach out and caress her companion, the warm sun encouraging her to do so but the cold air between them stopping her.

 

“There’s nothing to do,” Clarke shot out, not even wanting to acknowledge the leader. “Just leave me be.”

 

Wanting to put their differences aside for just a moment, Lexa managed to step forward to the girl who immediately recoiled. “I am only here to help,” she informed as gently as possible.

 

Narrowing her eyes and staring at her blocked path, Clarke scoffed and felt instant rage. “Where were you three weeks ago?” she questioned, her eyes flickering in danger.

 

Swallowing, Lexa felt her mouth go dry. Dry as the Deadlands that promised to lead somewhere hopeful but never allowing anyone to reach their destination. “I told you,” she began to say, struggling with her thoughts. “I made my decision with my head --,”

 

“Not your heart,” Clarke interrupted, holding her stomach and feeling solemn. She didn’t even know how this was possible considering the effort the two put into avoiding an accident.

 

Breath hitching, Lexa stood tall and gave one nod. “What must you do, Clarke?” she asked, wanting to know if the girl had made a decision.

 

“Go back to the Ark, have the kid and live merrily,” she sarcastically stated, rolling her eyes at the Commander. She saw the girl crease her eyebrows in confusion and then turn serious. “What the hell should I do, Lexa?”

 

“Your sarcasm is unnecessary,” Lexa retorted as blood began to boil. She needed to keep her composure because Clarke clearly wasn’t. “Have you thought about what you want?”

 

“I’ve thought a lot of things,” Clarke chided, tired of standing still and moving to walk around the Commander.

 

Although the blonde was feet away, Lexa felt as if the girl brushed passed her without a care and found it offensive although not unexpected. She turned around and glared with sharp eyes. “Twelve days,” she let out, seeing the girl turn toward her curiously. “It only took twelve days.”

 

Eyes sparkling, Clarke knew exactly what the Commander was talking about. She fingered her satchel and let out a hot breath. “Twelve days for what?” the blonde pretended to play dumb.

 

She could not say it. It didn’t feel right after all that happened but she did feel it. “To create a new life,” she decided to say instead, seeing blue pools glaze over with disappointment.

 

Scoffing, Clarke turned to walk away once more. “I don’t see what the twelve days we spent together has to do with that, but okay,” she breathily said, walking away. That’s not the answer she wanted and she knew Lexa chose not to say it.

 

“Allow me to escort you back to your camp,” Lexa offered, following the girl from behind.

 

Keeping her eyes ahead, Clarke went tight lipped for a moment and tried to ignore the nauseous feeling she was having. “You’ll just follow me in the trees anyway,” she let out, fixing her satchel.

 

Gazing across the expanse of the forest from the high point of the drop ship camp, Clarke found it to be beautiful. The first day she was here, she didn’t think to enjoy the surroundings but now it was the only thing that offered her solace. She just wanted to be alone.

 

“Fine,” Lexa replied, leaping up to an appropriate branch and pulling herself up easily.

 

**********

 

Only her closest friends knew at first and Clarke was met with mixed reactions. She hated being back at the Ark. There were many times she thought she would better off in the forest, struggling and dealing with the nausea and pain. When the Arkers found out what really happened, some were hostile, worrying about grounders coming to attack their camp. Others were delighted, hoping it would allow peace amongst everyone. Clarke, however, was constantly worried about bringing a child into this treacherous world.

 

It had been almost a month since she last saw Lexa but she knew there were many eyes peering in the forest. Although the Arkers carried on with daily life as if nothing was happening, she knew that the Commander was most likely waiting for further information. She never gave the leader a proper answer about what she planned on doing but Clarke knew from the start she would have the child. Making Lexa ponder was a sort of revenge for Clarke.

 

One day while shoving berries into her mouth, sitting outside, Clarke saw a black horse in the distance. Guards called to one another and approached the gate to Camp Jaha. Within moments, the blonde was required and she walked toward the entrance. It was Indra, alone, and inspecting Clarke as to check for her health and any signs of the child.

 

Staring through the gate, Clarke sighed and knew what this meant. “When, Indra?” she asked, licking her lips and feeling the scar left behind.

 

“Tomorrow at the ship,” she simply stated, already turning her horse to leave.

 

Nodding, Clarke watched as the warrior went off, disappearing into the forest. She turned around to find a spot to sit only to be bombarded by her people. She despised being at the Ark.

 

**********

 

“You came alone,” Lexa stated, dropping from the trees. She had been following Clarke the entire way, but no one came with her. Examining the blonde, she did not see any signs of a child growing yet. It was still too early.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Clarke shrugged and scanned the area. She was tired from the walk and wanted to rest. “Stay away,” she began to say, finding a rock to sit upon. “I might puke on you.”

 

Disdain on her face, Lexa stayed where she was and pondered how she could help. “There is nothing available at the Ark to help with the nausea?” she asked gently, seeing the girl struggling.

 

“Not much,” Clarke croaked, regretting even coming.

 

Searching her mind, Lexa tried to remember ointments and remedies her people had. Mind working, Lexa almost smiled and looked up. “I will return,” she exclaimed nearly excited. Darting toward a tree, she leaped up and climbed high.

 

Raising her eyebrows and shaking her head, Clarke didn’t know what to think. Was Lexa a human or a monkey? She wanted to chuckle to herself but felt squeamish and groaned. Ears perking up, she could hear sharp whistling from above. Then another in the distance, and then again echoing through the forest. Whistles, near and far, as if communicating. Some were more high pitched than others and Clarke was bewildered at the sounds.

 

Time passed and Clarke could feel the berries she ate earlier ready to make a grand entrance onto the forest floor. Sighing, she took deep breaths and rubbed hard at her thighs. Anything to take her mind off of the awful feeling. She managed to appease her stomach for some time by doing this and felt slightly better.

 

Growing tired of waiting, she gazed up into the trees and wondered where Lexa had gone. Then she heard the whistles again and before she could see anything, two figures came falling from the trees, landing perfectly on the ground. It was Lexa accompanied by a tall and strong man. Clarke blinked her eyes and swallowed. It was Nyko.

 

“Clarke,” the man greeted, bowing. He immediately reached his hand into his satchel and pulled out a bottle.

 

Feeling the nausea return, Clarke felt like crying but gritted her teeth and held it in.

 

“Drink this now,” Nyko ordered, offering the bottle.

 

About to keel over, Clarke couldn’t even lift her hand to retrieve the drink.

 

Looking at Nyko who felt helpless, Lexa clenched her jaw and grabbed the bottle. She got to her knees before Clarke and reached out to hold her face steady. “Drink it,” she softly said but with conviction.

 

Feeling the cool glass touch her lips, Clarke opened her mouth and let the fluid in. It was sweet and fruity and she immediately felt a sense of relief. A warm hand on her cheek and sparkling green eyes staring at her tenderly, Clarke couldn’t help but feel warm inside. This drink was a wonder. The nausea was gone.

 

Pulling away the bottle, Clarke didn’t want to stop drinking but Lexa did not want all of the fluid to be used in one sitting. “Is that better?” she asked, her hand still on a soft cheek.

 

Nodding fervently, Clarke felt invigorated and looked to Nyko. “Thank you,” she said in a raspy voice, licking her lips and trying to swallow every last drop still in her mouth.

 

“I have two more bottles here,” Nyko informed, pulling them out from his satchel. “One sip a day should be good enough, but you’ll have to wait for more. This remedy takes time for me to brew.”

 

Lexa felt responsible for having Clarke in this state. “If I had known the nausea was so problematic, I would have gone to you instead,” she noted.

 

Raising her hands into the air, Clarke didn’t like that idea. “I’d do anything to get away from the Ark right now,” she confessed, sitting up. Lexa removed her hand and the air felt cool on her cheek. Not having to deal with the nausea allowed Clarke to think about other things and her thoughts instantly went to the night they shared. She felt her cheeks going red and turned away.

 

“Are you still going to puke?” Lexa asked, eyes darting all over the blonde. She was certain the drink worked.

 

Shaking her head, Clarke took a deep breath and gazed back at the Commander. “No, I just get hot flashes and stuff,” she lied.

 

“Oh,” Lexa breathed, not sure of what to say anymore. She got to her feet and waved her hand to Nyko. “Many thanks, Nyko,” she was grateful. “Please make more of these for Clarke.” The man nodded and began to walk away.

 

Raising her eyes to see the Commander, Clarke wiped her mouth and ran a hand through her hair. The two bottles were left on the ground for her to take back and she was happy. “Don’t you think we’re too young to have a child?” Clarke blurted out, wanting to know what Lexa thought.

 

The Commander hadn’t really thought about that. “No,” she brazenly said. “Young. Old. What does it matter?”

 

“It matters,” Clarke replied, thinking of losing all her freedom to explore the world around her.

 

Noticing that Clarke’s thoughts were drifting, Lexa didn’t know what to offer the blonde. “I will care for the child if you do not want the burden,” she suggested, thinking that would make her happy.

 

“No,” Clarke quickly shot out. “And have the kid wielding a sword before being able to walk? I don’t think so.”

 

Lexa found the statement to be offensive but kept calm. “Not all children turn into warriors,” she informed.

 

Clarke wanted to laugh. Give a real good hoot. “You’re the Commander!” she exclaimed, thinking it was a joke. “The kid is probably practicing with my umbilical cord as a weapon for all we know!”

 

Was that meant to be humourous? Lexa found Sky phrases to be so strange at times. “Our lives are filled with danger, Clarke,” she reminded. “It would be important for anyone to learn self defense at the least.”

 

Shaking her head, Clarke rubbed her temples. “Emerson is still alive, Lexa,” she notified, seeing no reaction. “He’ll probably just bomb us all at some point. Self defense can’t do anything against that.”

 

Hoping the devious man was dead, Lexa instantly thought of sending out a search party for him. But it had already been two months. Who knows where he could be. “Maybe,” she agreed. She noticed her companion growing tired and sighed. They would have to meet another day. “Come back in a month for more of this.” Lexa went to pick up the bottles and set them down next to Clarke.

 

Now that was something worth walking to the drop ship for. She took the bottles and placed them in her satchel. Standing up, she felt her muscles ache. Physical activity was a battle when being pregnant. Gazing at Lexa, she took a moment to let herself indulge in the girl's attractiveness. There was no helping it. She was still upset about what happened but there was nothing to be done about the betrayal any longer.

 

Seeing bright blue eyes look her over, Lexa quirked an eyebrow and whistled. Clarke had curious eyes and Lexa actually gave a small smile. Within a few moments, a white stallion came bursting from the foliage. It was Borak. The horse whinnied and immediately went to Clarke, wanting to be patted.

 

Smiling at the horse that helped save her life from pauna, Clarke hugged the beautiful creature and was in awe. “Why’s he here?” she asked, keeping her focus on the animal.

 

“You may have him for your ventures,” Lexa commented, raising her chin. Borak liked Lexa and Clarke. No one else. “I’ll see you in a month, Clarke.”

 

**********

 

Taking a sip of the remedy, Clarke had a sigh of relief as her usual nausea slipped away. Placing a hand on her stomach, she licked her dry lips and gazed out into the forest. The day was beautiful but cold and the sky a crisp blue. A gentle gust of wind blew into her face as if beckoning her to the forest. She thought of her time with Lexa on the Wheel and what the girl had said.

 

'Osir keryon ste teina' resonated in Clarke's mind, thinking of how Lexa described Costia, always being there when the wind would caress her skin. It was sad but romantic and Clarke liked it. She liked that Lexa loved Costia so much that she believed the deceased girl was still all around her, in the air, the wind, touching her gently at times. She thought of what she would have done if Lexa had gotten her pregnant, if she was still alive and if they were still together.

 

Off in the distance, Clarke could see a large man upon his horse. It was Ryder, galloping toward the camp she despised being at. It had been another two months and the blonde was beginning to show slightly. At this point, people were leaving her alone. She used her pregnancy as an excuse to wail at people and rage at ignorant Arkers even though sometimes she really couldn't keep calm. Her friends were always helpful and supportive, doing anything they could to make her feel comfortable.

 

Walking to the entrance of camp, Clarke smiled at her body guard as he came closer, descending from his horse and walking toward the blonde. She waved her hand ad him and noticed he had something in his hands. As she approached, she saw there were two bottles of the nausea remedy and this made her happy.

 

“Klok,” Ryder greeted, offering the bottles. The guards nearby walked away, giving the pair some space.

 

Raising her eyebrows, Clarke accepted the bottles and gazed at Ryder. “I don't need to go to the drop ship?” she asked, peering over the man's shoulders.

 

Shaking his head, Ryder observed the girl from head to toe. She seemed fine. “No,” he began. “Heda is busy with her Council. She has been given an offer to be a High Chief of Polis.”

 

Not sure what that even meant, Clarke took a deep breath and looked around to make sure no one was listening. “What does that mean?” she asked, curious of the situation.

 

“It is a great honour,” Ryder declared, raising his chin. “Overseeing not only the Twelve Clans, but governing other groups as well.”

 

This was interesting information. “I see,” Clarke mused. “There's more than just grounders out there?”

 

Eyes going wide, Ryder wanted to laugh. Sky People were so ignorant at times. “Of course,” he replied, crossing his arms over his large chest. “Different Peoples, different languages from far and beyond.”

 

“So what would she do?” Clarke asked, wondering how everyone interacted with each other.

 

Taking a step closer to the blonde, Ryder spoke in a low voice. “Discuss land, territory, resources, trades and services,” Ryder explained, thinking this should be common knowledge.

 

Contemplating everything she was hearing, Clarke placed her fingers to her lip, feeling the scar left behind. She felt her stomach churn and thought of Lexa going off to Polis, wherever that even was, and leaving her alone. “Does she have to do this?” she asked.

 

Ryder smiled, knowing what his companion was thinking. Taking in a breath of cold air, he shook his head. “No,” he replied. “But it would be good for your people if she did.”

 

Not for me though, Clarke thought. “Will I see her in a month?” she asked, wanting to know the schedule of events.

 

“In six weeks, actually,” Ryder corrected, gazing across the camp. The Arkers were busy working in the area and did not seem too interested in his presence. “Heda must take a trip to Polis.”

 

Feeling a ping of sadness, Clarke shook the feeling away and simply nodded. “I'll need you to escort me, Ryder,” she informed. “I'll be a fatass by then and I'm not sure Borak can handle me.”

 

Ryder smiled and then out a hearty laugh. He loved Clarke so much. “Klok, you are amusing,” he burst out. “I will fetch you, of course.”

 

**********

 

The weeks went by slowly and Clarke would try to make the most of her time, helping around the Ark, fixing things, patching wounds and chatting with her friends. Her ankles began to ache sometimes, her body fatigued from little exercise, her mind worrying and heart missing Lexa. She didn't want to admit it to anyone, not even Ryder that she wasn't fond of the whole Polis thing. Although she was still upset with Lexa for leaving her to die, she was able to put herself in the Commander's shoes.

 

It was time to go to the drop ship and Ryder was ready to escort Clarke in the forest. She was happy to get away from the Ark and rode silently by the man upon the dauntless stallion. She pondered what horse Lexa must have been using for her ventures over the last few months.

 

“Klok,” Ryder called, snapping the blonde away from her thoughts. “How many months are left?”

 

“About five,” Clarke answered, reaching into her satchel and shoving berries in her mouth. “God, I love these things.”

 

“I am aware,” Ryder replied, pondering how she fit so many into her mouth. “Have you thought of names?”

 

Shaking her head, Clarke chewed and then swallowed. A light blanket of snow covered the trees and snow crunched under the hooves of their horses. “Something that represents both Lexa and myself, maybe,” she explained, not really sure.

 

Stroking his beard, Ryder could see the drop ship off in the distance. “You should decide,” he replied. “Choose a name you want.”

 

“I'll see,” Clarke said. She contemplated something similar to her father's name, it could work.

 

Hearing rustling in the trees, Ryder stopped his horse and peered up. “I leave you now, Klok,” he informed, watching as Borak continued. “She is here.”

 

Waving to the man, Clarke looked up as well. “Just come down already,” she called out, Borak whinnying.

 

Crashing down to the ground in front of her horse, Lexa reached out to pat the white stallion who immediately nuzzled her upon sight. She didn't even look at Clarke and leaped up onto the animal behind the blonde, startling her as the horse began to gallop in a different direction.

 

“Waittt,” Clarke groaned, reaching into her satchel. “I'm going to vomit!”

 

Not realizing that this would be a problem, Lexa completely forgot that Clarke was probably running low on the nausea remedy. “Apologies,” she quickly said, stopping Borak and eyeing the blonde.

 

Clarke grabbed a bottle, opened it and put it to her lips. She was feeling so squeamish from Lexa's abrupt actions and could feel all the berries bouncing around in her stomach. This was not good. Tipping the bottle up, she waited to taste the sweetness but nothing came. Tipping it up higher, and still nothing. Placing her hand to cover her mouth, she turned to Lexa to say something but it was too late.

 

Eyes going wide, Lexa grimaced at the unfortunate sequence of events. Before she knew it, the blonde was spewing mushed up berries all over her armored clothing and the fur blanket covering Borak. What a disaster. Descending from the horse, she pulled Clarke down with her and rubbed the girl's back as she continued to vomit.

 

“I am very sorry for this, Clarke,” Lexa apologised, moving blonde hair to the side and ignoring the throw up that was all over her. Even Borak felt bad for the blonde.

 

Taking a deep breath, Clarke couldn't vomit anymore and rested on her knees within the cool snow. It looked like someone had been murdered in front of her or something. “I shouldn't have drank it all,” Clarke breathed, wiping at her mouth. “Six weeks is a little too long.”

 

Quickly searching her own satchel, Lexa pulled out a bottle and handed it to Clarke. Noticing the blonde was unable to really move, she opened the bottle herself and put it to Clarke's lips. “Drink it,” she gently said, tipping it for her companion. A few sips and she pulled it away.

 

Clarke felt relieved and turned to Lexa. A puked on Lexa. Groaning, she didn't know what to say and felt very emotional.

 

Noticing the upset look on Clarke's face, Lexa wiped at her clothing, sending the berry mush flying. “It is okay, Clarke,” she calmed, picking up some snow and rubbing it on herself. “It's just berries.”

 

Her pants were starting to get wet from the snow melting beneath, so Clarke stood up. “I hate this,” she breathed, looking down at her stomach.

 

Standing as well, Lexa observed her companion and the sight of her stomach. “Hate what?” she asked.

 

“Feeling so, helpless,” Clarke breathed, looking at the mess in front of her.

 

Staring intently at Clarke's profile, Lexa sighed and didn't really know what to say. “You are not helpless,” she began, putting the bottle away. “This is common during a pregnancy.”

 

“That's not what I mean,” Clarke shot out, still looking down at the vomit. “I don't know if I can raise a child by myself. If you go off to Polis what will I do?”

 

Lexa inhaled and her jaw dropped slightly. “Go off to Polis?” she asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “I never said that.”

 

“Ryder told me,” Clarke continued, wiping at her eyes. These emotional phases were a nuisance. “Some kind of honour, government crap, Peoples and languages.”

 

Lexa couldn't believe what she was hearing and a small smile formed on her lips. “I haven't given an answer yet,” she informed, wiping some more berry away. “I wanted to see if you made a decision.”

 

Groaning again, Clarke turned to the Commander and sighed. “Look at me!” she burst out. “Obviously I'm going to have this child. And here you are, showing up once every few weeks to throw bottles at me, make me puke, anger me and stay so fucking calm about everything!” Lexa didn't say a word so she continued. “I can't get it out of my mind. Being left alone like that!” She paused for a moment and turned red. “I can't get that night we spent together off my mind either. I just want to go back to when we were holding each other, Lexa.” Her eyes were watering and she rubbed at them again.

 

Face calm and stoic, Lexa simply nodded. Borak came by to nuzzle her and she patted him with her eyes still on Clarke. “You killed the people of the Mountain,” she slowly said. “I killed the people of Ton DC. You lost Finn, I lost Costia. You lost your father, I lost Gustus.” Her heart thumped, her stomach churned and she swallowed. “But we still have each other... and someone new.” Her eyes traveled to Clarke's stomach.

 

Resting her hands on her warm abdomen, Clarke sighed and didn't want to wail at Lexa anymore. She could see a few snowflakes beginning to fall, one on Lexa's cheek, melting and sliding down. The Commander wiped it away and kept a stern gaze. “I need your help with this,” Clarke confessed. “I can't do it alone.”

 

“You won't be alone,” Lexa noted. “Your friends, your mother.”

 

Sucking in her bottom lip, Clarke sighed. “I need you, Lexa,” she admitted. “I don't want this baby to be in any danger but the safest place to be now is by your side.”

 

Gulping again, Lexa nodded once. This time, Clarke didn't just need her to have an alliance or keep her people safe. She needed her to help with this child and to be there for her because she wanted it. “I will be here,” she declared, raising her chin. “This is my home.”

 

“I hate my home,” Clarke retorted, thinking of the Ark. “I can't look at their faces without thinking of what I did.”

 

Letting out a deep breath, Lexa could see the vapour floating upward. “Then let's make a new home,” she suggested.

 

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked, curious about this idea.

 

“Your friends can even help,” Lexa added, liking the idea of Raven and Octavia being involved. “Why not build a hut of your own?”

 

“I don't have that skill,” Clarke noted, raising her hands up.

 

Thinking of her people, Lexa let out a small smile for the blonde to see this time. “Ryder does,” she said. “And I can help.” She paused for a moment and searched her mind. “I am still Commander. I have much to do still but I will make time for this.”

 

If she could get away from the Ark, Clarke was happy. She smiled back at Lexa and nodded. “I'd like my own place,” she replied.

 

Gazing down at herself, Lexa grimaced at the sight of the left over berry throw up. “I cannot believe you did this,” she commented, trying to shake it off.

 

“It was your fault,” Clarke replied, feeling offended as if she were to blame.

 

Turning to Borak and away from Clarke, Lexa rose her hand in the air. “Yes, yes, everything is my fault,” she began to say. “Is it not also my fault that I can have you moaning in pleasure, Clarke?” In one swift motion, she was sitting atop Borak looking down at her companion.

 

Cheeks flushing red, Clarke cursed to herself and glared at Lexa who kept a blank face.

 

“Are you having another hot flash?” The Commander asked, patting her horse.

 

Clarke scowled and turned to the berry covered puke snow. Bending down, she picked up a handful of the cold substance and formed it into a ball. An internal laugh and then a sneer, Clarke stood up, glanced at Lexa and threw the puke ball at her. The snow hit her chest and even splashed up in her face. Going wide eyed, Clarke stood silently waiting for a reaction.

 

Rolling her eyes, Lexa wiped the melting snow away and shook her head. “This is amusing for you,” she surmised, circling around the blonde. “You may walk back to your camp...”

 

Scoffing, Clarke didn't say a word. There was no way Lexa would leave her here like this. A snowflake fell on her nose and she quickly wiped it away. Gazing at the Commander, she began to walk toward Borak who immediately trotted away. She tried again, and Lexa had him trot further away. “Lexa!” she hissed, walking hastily. The girl smirked and then reared her horse, galloping away right after. Swinging her head back and groaning, Clarke regretted throwing that puke ball.

 

***********

 

The weather was getting warmer and Clarke stood before her skeleton of a hut. Her friends were all working together to help build something beautiful for her. Ryder had about five logs of wood in his hands, Raven tinkering with some sort of contraption, Wick designing something on paper and the rest doing some other tasks. She could see Bellamy chopping wood with Lincoln and Octavia carving some wood.

 

Clarke kept herself busy as well. She didn't let her bloated body stop her from doing anything. Although the process may have been slower, she still managed to get things done. She was mostly happy to be away from the Ark. No one really left the vicinity of the camp unless necessary so it was doubtful anyone would come wandering to this construction site.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Clarke smiled and gazed up at the sky. A few puffy clouds were making their way across the serene blue, the sun shining and warming her face. This was the first time, in a long time, she felt happy.

 

**********

 

“Must you be moving this much?” Lexa asked, watching as Clarke wobbled along the riverbank. “It seems your ankles are swollen.”

 

“Ugh,” Clarke groaned as the Commander kept a watchful eye. “Did you not make me walk home a few months ago? It's catching up to me now.”

 

Furrowing her eyebrows, Lexa observed her companion and kept a stoic face at the comment. “How is it possible that your ankles are swollen now, because of what happened months ago?” she asked, genuinely curious.

 

Clarke groaned again and turned toward the river she loved so much. “Never mind,” she breathed, waving her hand at Lexa.

 

“I do not have much time, Clarke,” the Commander reminded, glancing at the sun. “I have a meeting after the sun sets.”

 

Finding a rock and plopping herself down upon it, Clarke sighed and took in the calm water before her. “Let me rest here for a while,” she demanded running her hands through her hair.

 

The sand crunching beneath her boots, Lexa walked toward the blonde and stood next to the rock. “How does the child feel?” she asked, gazing at the sparkling water.

 

“Like a nuisance,” Clarke replied, placing her hands on her stomach. “I told the kid you left me at the Mountain and I felt a kick. So, we're both pissed at you.”

 

Quirking her eyebrow and glaring at the blonde, Lexa scoffed and placed her hands on the hilt of her sword. “That is untrue,” she stated.

 

Turning to Lexa, Clarke returned the glare and ran a tongue over her teeth. “Come feel, then,” she invited, motioning her hands.

 

Feeling rigid, Lexa gripped her sword and was unmoving. She had not touched Clarke in months, not since they spent the night together. She was beginning to wonder if she'd ever feel smooth, pale skin beneath her fingertips again. “Are you sure?” she asked.

 

“Yes,” Clarke replied. “I want to prove you wrong.”

 

Raising her chin, sure of herself, Lexa sat gently next to Clarke and turned her body. Swallowing, she took off her gloves and laid them aside, raising her hands. “Okay,” she slowly said.

 

Pulling up her large shirt, Clarke felt excited for some reason, gazing at Lexa so close, her beauty almost intoxicating. “Right, here,” she instructed as warm hands gently placed themselves. It felt just right.

 

“I do not feel anything,” Lexa concluded, waiting for something to happen.

 

“Watch,” Clarke replied, looking down. “Your mom and I had nonstop sex the night before the Mountain battle and then decided to leave me to die in the middle of it.”

 

Clenching her jaw, Lexa felt her heart light on fire at the statement but did not move. This was absurd. Some time passed and she was ready to remove her hands but then... a kick! Eyes going wide, Lexa gawked at Clarke who was now sneering at the Commander. This was beyond absurd. “Branwada,” Lexa breathed.

 

“Pff, Lexa you're the branwada,” Clarke barked, placing her palms over the Commander's. “Isn't it nice?”

 

“Yes,” Lexa admitted, feeling slightly embarrassed. “It's warm.”

 

Hearing the water moving along, Clarke found herself loving this place even more. She held Lexa's hands against her stomach and gazed at the girl. “Have you thought about names?” she asked, having an idea.

 

“Not really,” Lexa admitted, still focused on a belly. “Have you?”

 

“Well,” Clarke began to say. “I know you seem to give names by the places you were born sometimes.” She saw Lexa give a slight nod and continued. “I was honestly just thinking of using the letters in our names.”

 

Eyes traveling up to meet bright blue ones, Lexa was pensive. “What can we make with our names?” she asked, trying to do some puzzles in her head.

 

“There's not much,” Clarke replied. “Alex --,”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay, uh, Lara?”

 

“No.”

 

“Rex?”

 

“Really, Clarke?”

 

“Cake...”

 

Silence.

 

“Well, I don't know then!”

 

“Kelara.”

 

“Oh,” Clarke breathed, liking the sound of that.

 

Removing her hands from the warmth, Lexa pulled Clarke's shirt down and gazed at the blonde. “I like it,” she said, finding herself leaning toward pink lips.

 

Feeling tingles course throughout her body, Clarke gasped but then quickly turned. She felt soft lips on her cheek and blushed. How could she be so bashful after all the intimate things they did? “I do too,” she breathed, feeling the lips remove themselves.

 

Swallowing, Lexa searched for Clarke's eyes but could not see them properly. “Then, it's settled,” she said, sitting up tall.

 

Mustering the courage to face the Commander, Clarke turned and could see glistening green eyes. She wanted to say so many things but knew it wouldn't come out properly. “Should we get going?” she asked as the sun began to set.

 

“A few more minutes,” Lexa replied, turning her body to face the river once more and indulging in its presence. “I have seen few beautiful things in my life.” She paused for a moment and took in a deep breath. “But right now, I feel like I am surrounded by the most beautiful things in this world.”

 

**********

 

“Are you ready?” Abby asked, staring down at her daughter.

 

Clarke didn't care about the pain, it was the nausea that was most bothersome. “Give me my damn drink,” she burst out, resting her head in a pillow.

 

Remembering the drink, Abby darted to a table and grabbed the bottle, taking it to Clarke. She handed the remedy over and watched as her daughter chugged it down. “Better?” she asked, eyes focused intently on Clarke.

 

Nodding, Clarke let out a burp and was ready to go. “Get Lexa,” she ordered, gazing at the door of the medical bay. “But no one else, mom.”

 

Eyeing her daughter, Abby ran a hand through her hair and then looked at Jackson who was ready to go. “I'll get her,” Abby replied, a slight smile. This was all sad and happy at the same time. The first Arker child to be born on the ground.

 

**********

 

It was over. Lexa and Clarke were quiet in a room together as the baby slept. The procedure was exhausting for Clarke and Lexa was itching to play with the sleeping baby. The two sat in silence for a long time, gazing at each other on occasion, not sure what to say but revealing everything with their eyes.

 

“She's not a toy,” Clarke reminded, seeing the Commander anxious.

 

Raising her chin, Lexa sat back in the comfy seat within the Ark and sighed. “I know, Clarke,” she retorted. “But did you see how she was flailing? She will be strong.”

 

“Maybe she'll just want to be a scholar,” Clarke suggested, fixing herself within the bed. She scanned the room, flowers everywhere, gifts made from odds and ends, hand made cards and even some items from Tri Kru.

 

Scoffing, Lexa looked over at the makeshift bed that was made specially for this day. “She can decide,” Lexa conceded, secretly thinking of ways to entice her child to become a formidable warrior.

 

“Hmph,” Clarke huffed, glancing at the crib.

 

Sighing, Lexa sucked in her bottom lip and was pensive. “I have something for you, Clarke,” she confessed, reaching into her pocket.

 

Furrowing her eyebrows, Clarke examined the Commander, her black boots, dark pants and sleeveless top. Her skin was tan from the long summer days and her mane only slightly braided. “What is it?” she asked, pushing herself up in the bed.

 

Standing up, Lexa walked over to Clarke and sat down in the bed by her side. “Here,” she said, offering the gift.

 

“Hair?” Clarke asked, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“No, here,” Lexa repeated, holding out the braided hair.

 

“That's what I said... never mind,” Clarke shook her head.

 

Finally understanding, but too late, Lexa continued. “It is yours and mine, together,” she explained, pointing to the blonde parts. “We can add Kelara's later.”

 

“What if she stays bald forever?” Clarke teased, taking the braid into her hand.

 

Lexa did not find this amusing and kept a blank face. “That would be unfortunate,” she flatly said.

 

This was a nice gesture, Clarke thought. But then she was concerned for a moment. “Wait, when did you get my hair?” she questioned, narrowing her eyes.

 

Shrugging, Lexa was unmoving. “How do you feel?” she asked, watching Clarke wince from time to time. “Does it hurt?”

 

“It's fine,” Clarke stated, happy she was no longer nauseous. “I feel so fat though!”

 

Raising her eyebrows, Lexa scanned the blonde. “You are not large,” she noted. “As long as you are healthy, your size should not matter.”

 

Wanting to laugh, Clarke bit her lip and felt the mark Lexa had left on her. “I'm going to eat pounds of berries,” she declared.

 

“As long as you do not vomit on me,” Lexa began to say. “That is fine.”

 

**********

 

Clarke was asleep but the baby was not and Lexa peered into the crib. There she was, a few tufts of blonde hair, bright blue eyes and a toothless smile. The Commander was in love. Then the arms began to flail rapidly, legs kicking and face red with glee. What a happy newborn.

 

For a brief moment, Lexa thought of Costia and what their child would look like if they created one. Costia was always so careful about everything especially when Lexa was called upon to be Commander. The last thing they wanted while they were involved was a child because of all the dangers that lurked in the world.

 

Glancing at Clarke, Lexa sighed. At least the Mountain Men were gone but there would always be danger in this world. Gazing back at her child, Lexa let out a smile. “Ai hod yu in,” she said. Arms went flying up wanting to touch her and Lexa took the opportunity to pick up the baby.

 

Kelara stared into Lexa's face, blurry and new but she felt safe and warm so she continued to smile.

 

Sighing, Lexa examined the child and held her close. The feeling was euphoric, something she never thought she'd experience. Walking back to the comfy seat, she sat down and cradled her child. Swallowing, Lexa held her tiny hand and began to hum a song. It was simple, something she liked as a child and she noticed Kelara react immediately. The baby was listening intently and the smile faded. There was only wonderment on her face as Lexa continued.

 

**********

 

“She eats too much,” Lexa commented, sitting atop plush grass.

 

“Nah,” Clarke replied, shoving berries into her mouth. She watched as Kelara mirrored her and grasped the fruit as well.

 

Leaning back on her hands, Lexa stared at Clarke and then at the baby who was unfortunately learning from the wrong person. “This is ridiculous,” the Commander muttered. War was doable, love making easy, assimilating the Twelve Clans? No problem. A baby with Clarke's personality? Disaster.

 

“You're the one who wants her to be all strong and daunting,” Clarke argued, enjoying the warm summer day. “She needs to eat.”

 

Clenching her jaw, Lexa ran a hand along her braids and looked away for a moment. “She soils herself too much,” she commented.

 

“She's a baby, Lexa,” Clarke retorted. She could hear Lexa utter something in Trigedasleng and rolled her eyes.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Lexa watched as Kelara reached for her. She was still too young to crawl or scoot but she would try and toppled over as a result. Picking the child up, Lexa held her and wiped her messy mouth with a cloth. “Kelara Jakelin Griffin,” Lexa said, liking the Sky name.

 

Kelara smiled and flailed her arms about. She could recognize her parents now and had more of a liking to Lexa than Clarke.

 

“Kelara Kom Tri Kru?” Clarke asked, seeing Lexa nod. “That's you!” She pointed to the baby who looked and smiled, drool all over her chin.

 

“A strong name for a strong girl,” Lexa commented.

 

Clarke gazed at Lexa who looked stunning under the shimmering sunlight atop a hill overlooking the Ark. She smiled when seeing Kelara chomp on the Commander's hand, getting spit everywhere and making Lexa sigh. Running a hand through her silken blonde hair, Clarke took in a deep fresh breath, her lungs filling with all the love and joy that was around her. She thought of the hut that her friends helped build and took one last glance at the Ark. “Lexa,” she began to say. “Let's go home.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Come say hi khirstin.tumblr.com


End file.
